I love this girl, but she’s Vulcan and doesn’t even notice me. What should I do?
–Worried I’m Invisible
I’m pretty sure it would be highly illogical for her to not visually sense you at all. However most Vulcans I have ever known have indicated there are some pretty strict dating rules on their planet which most outsiders don’t fully comprehend nor appreciate. This may make them refuse romantic advances in order to protect their own cultural preferences as well as keeping others safe. I know you might immediately think ‘but how could someone hurt me if I love them?’ Well take it from Kr’Abby, some species are very gentle with romance, while others think that several broken ribs is just foreplay. She may be trying to protect you by refusing to acknowledge your romantic interest.
That said, feeling invisible isn’t healthy. Nor is unrequited love. So I suggest that you talk to this Vulcan lady you fancy. Not about romance, but about things you are mutually interested in. Whether that’s astrophysics or Andorian Blues, find a common ground and actually get to know one another. You’ll probably learn a lot about her and her culture in the process. And if you’re having problems talking to other people, especially those you might feel attracted to then go to your local social cantina and start talking to people. Take some friends along for backup and start practicing those social skills. I know, this is terrifying but keep at it. Remember to look for common ground with the people you are talking to and sooner or later you’ll find a soulmate.
My husband left me unexpectedly two years ago and returned just last month. He said he was kidnapped by pirates, but I think he’s lying to me. What should I do?
Dear Confused Husband,
Well, there’s a lot of things that could factor into this story. Where do you live? Is it a safe place? Was he traveling in an unsafe place before he disappeared? How did he leave? You can do your own detective work which might help make up your mind in a situation like this.
But the underlying issue here is trust. Right now its clear you don’t trust him so I’m guessing there’s some incidents in your mutual past where he broke your trust before. This makes you less inclined to trust him now. So you need to both work on trusting one another if you intend to retain and maintain this relationship. Start by sitting down and really talking about everything. Make him talk and you listen to every detail. You’re really going to have to open your ears here and hear him speak, and then make sure he’s doing the same. If one of you closes the other one off – then it’s best to end this relationship right away.
In the end the facts are – he was gone and then he came back. Either you’re right and he left of his own accord, but he came back to give you both a second chance at your relationship or you’re wrong and he needs your support. The targ is in your territory and how you handle the communication moving forward will set the groundwork for how your relationship ends up.
Dear Kr’Abby is written by Doctor B’Rusk, the Federation’s foremost half-Klingon psychologist who specializes in tough-love advice. We take submissions from across the galaxy!