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Dear Kr’Abby: Family Questions

Dear Kr’Abby,

I’m pregnant and dealing with overprotective co-workers.  How should I stand up for myself while still maintaining Starfleet decorum?
–Starfleet Mom

Dear Starfleet Mom,

You know how highly I esteem the honor of Starfleet officers but in this case I believe you should take a lesson from Klingon child-rearing and headbutt any co-workers who get too bossy or pushy.  This works wonders to discourage strangers from touching your belly as well! Now I hear that Starfleet regulations take unkindly towards headbutting if it causes injury, and some Federation species do not have the reinforced skull plating that Klingons or even half-Klingons like myself possess.  In this case I suggest wearing a highly fashionable padded headband to protect yourself while still getting your point across.

However, if you are wholly committed to a peaceable diplomatic solution, firmly tell any co-workers who do not out-rank you and who you are not bonded to or who have not contributed biological material to your offspring that they do not get a say in how you conduct yourself and you duties.  If your superior officers have a problem with this, then see if their demands are rational.  If so, follow orders, honor demands that you swallow your pride from time to time to obey the chain of command for the greater glory of your Federation Empire.  If they are unreasonable, however I suggest seeking a new station or posting where you can have the respect you deserve.

Dear Kr’Abby,

I’m supposed to be marrying a quad of fellow Andorians, but two of the three others are completely insane.  I’m not sure this will work out, even though our family’s hopes are riding on it.  What should I do?

Dear AndorianBlues,

How insane are we talking?  Is this ‘irritating but ultimately bearable’ insane or is this ‘toasted your favorite pet targ over the warp core manifold’ insane? If the actions of your intended quad-mates threaten your life, then get out now.

However, assuming that the personalities are simply difficult, in this enlightened age, there is much we do to further our houses.  Take this burden upon yourself until it is fulfilled and then speak openly about the total commitment, letting the others understand that you will travel onward after all familial cuties are completed.  I understand that multiple bondings are not uncommon for Andorians and you should be able to move forward after this issue is resolved.  Remember, if punches are not being traded then communication is key.

If punches are being traded, well… is that aggression or foreplay?

Dear Kr’Abby is written by Doctor B’Rusk, the Federation’s foremost half-Klingon psychologist who specializes in tough-love advice. We take submissions from across the galaxy!

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